The End

Almost gone… Sitting at the airport as I write this, last hour or so in Assam.

This journey had begun with trepidation, I was doubtful how I would adjust to everything. The first few days felt difficult, thought that 6 weeks would never get over. As I settled in and interacted with the people, I grew to appreciate the rare experience I was gaining. And this last week, days seemed to have just rushed past. And it was time to say goodbye to Chhaygaon, and Guwahati.

The last day was packed with activities. Meeting everyone to thank them a last time, lovely lunch prepared by Aunty in the house, exchanging gifts… just as they had welcomed me warmly, so did they bid adieu.

I am taking back a lot of learnings from these 6 weeks.

I am so glad to have gained this perspective of life. Stuck in Bombay, one never realised what life would be like right at the other end of the country.

I have always been apprehensive of change – the thought of a new place and new set of people used to make me a little nervous. After having travelled and lived, although temporarily, in different places over last couple of years, I am confident and even look forward to discovering a new place. But I realise more than ever, the importance of having good people around.

This has been one of my most enriching experiences yet – I am going to try that it does not get lost in the hustle-bustle of my life.

Interesting Facts/Traditions

Like all places in India, Assam has its own typical customs, traditions and characteristics.

The traditional Assamese dress for women is called “Chaadar-Mekhela” (pronounced Saa-dar Mekh-la). At first glance it looks exactly like a sari. But unlike a sari, it actually is in two parts. There is the Mekhela, which is an A-line straight ghaghra or skirt with pleats, and then the Chaader, which resembles a long dupatta is draped over the upper half looking like the pallu of a sari. On my last day in the village, the girls in my house made me do a photo-shoot in their finest traditional attire, trying out different types of drapes and decking me up with their jewellery, complete with flowers in the hair!

The Brahmaputra runs all through Assam, and influences villagers lives tremendously. In earlier times, this was used as the mode of long-distance transport. It is the only ‘male” river in India and goes with different names in different countries – the same river is known as Tsang-Po in Tibet and Padma in Bangladesh.

If you ever visit an Assamese home, they will always offer you is “tamul”. Tamul is the same fruit which in the dried version is known to most of us as “supari”. However, the fresh version, “tamul”, has very different effects. It is known to produce lot of heat in the body and can cause dizziness if one has never eaten it before. I was warned of this by Raman and diligently refused every time the villagers offered it to me (on second thoughts, perhaps I should have experimented once!). The little boy in my house, Kishore, was eating it once and I asked him when he started having tamul. “Jab se daant hai, tab se khaata hoon!”

The girls have a special tradition to follow in their adolescence. At the onset of the first menses, they have an event known as “Chhoti Shaadi” for the girl. Chandana, the eldest daughter of the house explained it as “Bilkul shaadi jaisa hota hai – bas dulha nahi hota!”. I don’t know if this practice is limited to rural areas alone. The girl has to perform puja and there is a banquet for all relatives later. All in all, it is quite a special day for the girl and she gets full attention. I looked at the pictures of Shivani’s Chhoti Shaadi – really seemed festive like a wedding. Without the pressure of in-laws, of course!

Assamese weddings are a bit different too, they go on for eight days. And the most peculiar thing of all that Raman told me – the bride and groom’s mother is not present at the main wedding ceremony! So there is an event held the day before the wedding, called "Zuroon", when the groom’s family gives gifts to the girl, where the mothers are present, and this is a very important ceremony too. The kin of the bride and groom MUST wear traditional Muga silk at the wedding events.

Similar to how many cultures present shawls as a mark of respect or as a memento at an event, the Assamese people present a “Gamusa”, which is a multi-purpose cloth used as towel or scarf. I have been given 3 by different people so far, in order to remember them.

Like most parts of India, the Assamese believe in taking tremendous care of their guests. All those that I have met, have been especially warm and really made an effort to make me feel comfortable. Probably why this experience here is one of the most enriching in my life J

Guwahati - My Urban Refuge!

Guwahati has been my urban refuge in the last 6 weeks – an oasis in the desert of rural Kamrup, if you will! Although I really enjoy my time in the village, the sheher-ki-ladki in me really looks forward to the urban hustle-bustle when I head to Guwahati (which is almost every Sunday).

First time I visited Guwahati was about 4 days after I arrived in Chhaygaon. I was still struggling to get used to the new life and stared wide-eyed as all the familiar brands passed by on the popular GS Road (Guwahati-Shillong Road). Pantaloons, Big Bazaar, Westside, Cinemax, Fun Cinemas, Cream Centre, Subway, Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Mainland China and of course, CCDs galore… wow! Looking back, I actually feel a bit silly at how happy I was that day. I am amazed at how much my life is influenced by all these things – I can’t give everything up for just 6 weeks? Unbelievable! Or maybe it’s just the familiarity of all these names that gives you a sense of comfort.

Going to Guwahati also meant visiting Raman’s house sometimes. Which meant getting awesome home-cooked food from his mom! Aunty was always lamenting about how little I eat, and offered me something to eat every couple of hours, worried I was going hungry!

Guwahati is nice little place. One of my favourite places in the city is Dighalipukhuri. It’s a small square pond which is surrounded by a quiet road on all sides. On one side is a CCD overlooking the pond. It’s a heavenly feeling sitting outside with coffee and watching people paddling in the boats!

The River Brahmaputra bifurcates Guwahati into north and south sides. The Brahmaputra is another fascinating feature in Assam. It’s probably one of the widest rivers in India, almost 10 km from bank-to-bank at some points, and has islands in the middle. And in the rainy season, it rises so high that some of these low-lying islands get submerged completely!

Overall, I liked Guwahati. I enjoyed exploring it bit-by-bit, shopping, stuffing myself at Cream Centre and Subway, walking on GS Road and so many other random activities J

In the Choudhurys' Kitchen

Clicked from the CCD overlooking Dighalipukhuri

Linguistic Barriers

In the last couple of years, I have found myself thrice in a situation where I don’t speak the local language at all. And that got me thinking about how the communication factor influenced my experience in each case.

In France, I drew a complete blank! Few people speak English fluently. So every single day involved at least some gesturing, pointing, mispronounced French words, broken French phrases. In most instances however, the people were keen to help. They wanted to understand what I tried to communicate and tried their best to respond in the best way they could. But it’s a little crippling being unable to kick-start a conversation with someone at the bus-stop or in a supermarket. One feels a bit alienated, there may be no one to talk to or understand for hours at a stretch! My greatest take-away was learning the names of different French food – because the most important communication required everyday was at the restaurant/café counter to find out, “Do you have any vegetarian food, i.e. without chicken, ham, beef, fish, egg, blah blah blah…!”

Chennai was just plain difficult, but in a very different kind of way. With some people (mainly cab/auto drivers, bus conductors, supermarket attendants, police, etc.) I often got the feeling that people didn’t want to understand what I was saying and didn’t care to respond even when they did understand. Don’t mistake me for one of the Chennai-bashers who simply like abusing the place. I quite liked Chennai and had a decent time there. But once in a while the whole “non co-operation with Hindi speakers” really got to me. In my first week, one auto driver kept yelling something to me in Tamil, although I kept saying “Only Hindi”. Only after I looked completely blank and did not respond at all, did he throw in his towel and finally speak in Hindi!

Assam has been comparatively easier. Firstly, because a lot of the people do speak Hindi. Not very fluently perhaps, and a very different accent, but I don’t feel completely paralysed. Secondly, Assamese is very similar to Bengali, and hence many words are similar to Hindi words. Also, I find that the people here, especially in the village, want to know more about a different life or want to tell me about theirs. So they make an effort. The wife of my landlord, for example. She knows only a few words in Hindi. But she still tries her best to talk to me in a mixture of Assamese and Hindi. I hadn’t even heard Assamese before I came here, but with a few gestures included, we have had a lot of communication in the last month, and also a lot of laughs.

So, communication, and therefore language, has certainly impacted my perspective and experience in a location. And it has also brought back my old enthusiasm for trying to learn more languages. Now if only I lived up to my resolutions sometime!

A Weekend in Shillong

While Assam is almost entirely plains (Brahmaputra River Valley), Meghalaya is almost entirely mountainous (Khasi Hills). Shillong is just around 100 km from Guwahati, and that’s where I headed for a short break.

Ascending the mountains was beautiful – the greenery contributed to the pleasant coolness (Chhaygaon and Guwahati are now getting warmer during the days). Special mention to Bara Pani just before Shillong. It is a vast expanse of lake which you can view from atop the mountain (picture below). The green-blue spread out in the valley below, glinting slightly golden in the sun – Wow!

Shillong itself is a lovely place. Beautiful like any hill station, but did not seem as commercialised as the other popular spots. The population in Meghalaya is mostly Christians, so on Sunday the entire place looked like a ghost town as EVERYone headed to church. Almost all shops remain closed on Sunday – the Khasi people take their rest very seriously!

Shillong has a distinct social and cultural structure. On the way our driver told us about the matriarchal society in Meghalaya. The woman is the head of the family here, and the children adopt the name of the mother’s family. Property and assets pass from the mother to the youngest daughter. And most often, it’s the women of the family which work longer and harder. The whole setup seems so different from what I have experienced so far, wish I could have had a chance to interact properly with a Khasi family.

I also visited IIM Shillong that evening. The campus in the main city is a temporary one, quite small, almost looks like someone’s house! But it is set in a very beautiful surrounding, and there is the amazing weather of course!

All in all, Shillong was a completely relaxed place, great for getting refreshed and rather perfect for a short lazy break!

Bara Pani, 20 km before Shillong

A Day in Chhaygaon

Days are going by fast and I’m almost at the halfway mark of this stint. So what do my days consist of? I thought of doing “One Day in Chhaygaon” post to share what a typical day is like for me here.

6 am: Almost everyday, I involuntarily open my eyes at this hour and wonder why I woke up. The cock crows again and I realize that it’s this natural alarm clock that has woken me up.

7 am: My first real attempt at getting out of bed begins. It cold in the mornings, and so cozy in bed (like any other location in winter!) – it requires a lot of willpower every morning to push those blankets away.

7:30-9:15 am: Time for all the morning chores! I usually start with washing utensils from the previous night’s dinner. Some days I also have to wash clothes. In the midst of these two activities, I draw water from the hand-pump into a couple of utensils and put it to boil, so that it is ready for my bath. It’s amazing how I finish bathing in barely 3 minutes here (at home, I rarely spend less than 15 minutes in the shower!). After getting ready, it’s time to get some breakfast ready. I have been rather lazy about this till now actually. In Chennai, I used to simply have cereal every morning for breakfast. But I don’t have a fridge here so I can’t store milk. Some days I have black tea with biscuits. Other days I just postpone having tea at the office!

9:15/9:30 am: The walk to the NGO office – one of my favourite activities in the day! It feels so good to go out in the mild sun, stroll through the quiet, green lanes. If only I had such a lovely commute to work all my life… I think I would look forward to work everyday then!

9:30-2:00 pm: The activities at the NGO vary from day to day. Some days Raman and I sit in office, and work on our deliverables. A few times we have been out in the field with the others in the NGO. I love doing that. We travel into the villages on bikes for the field visits. Most times the people in the village do not understand or speak Hindi so Raman acts as translator. However, once one of the women did speak Hindi, and I really enjoyed talking to her about life in the village. She candidly told me several things, especially about how proud she feels when she earns extra money for herself and her children with the NGO’s help.

2 pm: Lunch time! Lunch is always rice-dal with some vegetable. I have noticed that in Assam they almost always eat rice for every meal. I feel like I have been eating rice forever now (before this I was in Chennai for 3 months :-/). Everyday, after lunch, we go for a stroll in the lanes near the office. This is again one of my favourite things in the day – I think I just can’t get enough of walking around here!

3:00-5:30 pm: Some more work and then time to go home. It gets dark very early – so if we leave at 5:30, we are usually walking home in the dark.

5:30-9:30 pm: This part of the day is very random. Raman usually comes over after work, I make something to eat and we chat for an hour or so. After that I just potter around my room, doing small things. Some days I read, sometimes I try writing. Once in a while I join the family I live with if they have made a bonfire. If I’m inspired enough (and there is electricity), I make myself a proper meal. I also spend a lot more time than usual in thinking and reflecting - it's sometimes useful to have so much time to yourself. Only sometimes :)

9:30/10:00 pm: I sleep very early here… and since I don’t wake up early, I sleep a lot! It’s a quiet place, people sleep fairly early compared to the city and I follow suit.

And then, once again… It’s a new day J

Grameen Sahara, the NGO I work with

Tokradhya village, which I visited on a field trip

Chatting with the women in Tokradhya

During one of our after-lunch strolls

For some reason, I quite like this small temple near our office

The Warmth of Assam

The evenings are cold here – about 9 to 10 degrees (I can almost hear the Delhi junta scoff and term 10 degrees as almost warm weather!) Nevertheless, the cold evenings are a good time for… bonfires!

The family I live with has been lighting a bonfire almost every evening since I arrived. This is the time when all of them gather together and have quiet conversation. I have been invited to join them a couple of evenings, and these have been some of my most memorable times here so far.

The first evening they asked me to join them, about 3-4 days back, Uncle (that’s how I address the head of the family) narrated experiences from his youth to me. He told me about the year he spent in Madras – and we both lamented about how they speak little or no Hindi in the south! Aunty (his wife) pitched in from time to time in Assamese. The conversations between Aunty and me are absolutely hilarious. She understands Hindi, but can’t speak it. So she talks to me in Assamese and I reply back in Hindi. The children of the house (there are three – two older daughters and a son) find these exchanges absolutely delightful and usually gather around to help translate between the two of us.

Today, Aunty asked me to join them again. While warming my toes, I had two hours of lovely conversation with them. I told them about how I had shared pictures of the house with everyone back home and they gave me a lot of ideas about what else I should capture on the camera:

-Uncle suggested that Aunty drape me in her set of traditional Assamese attire (called Saader-Mekhaala)

-Unanimous suggestion of me washing clothes/utensils

-Aunty especially insisted on a picture of me using the hand-pump (she laughed and mimed my vigorous actions too, to emphasise her point!)

One common topic that often crops up is how life in Bombay is different compared to Chhaygaon. They wanted to know more about my house today and I explained how space is limited in the city so we live in apartments. Aunty was amazed that we live on the 5^th floor and the young son, Kishore, tried to estimate how high that would be by pointing to various trees around (Kishore is quite a character – he is in the 7^th standard, always finding excuses to skip homework and sings Kolaveri at least once every morning!)

Next came the highlight of the evening – Assamese lessons for me! I have been trying to pick up a few useful sentences from Raman, so today was the time to showcase what I had learnt. I recited one-by-one what I knew and we all laughed when I struggled with some pronunciations. Kishore then took up the task of becoming my tutor and taught me a lot of vocabulary until his sisters stopped him because he was teaching me incorrect words!

So, yes, the evenings are cold. But there is the bonfire to warm me. And more than that, there is the warmth of the people itself, which lingers on for a long, long time J

Zui (assamese for fire)... And that's Shivani, the younger daughter (she is in the 10th standard)

The Beginning

Let me start by saying that I am a rather urban creature. I don’t mean that in a bad way – it’s just that I am very used to the comforts of my entirely urban lifestyle. And I like it that way.

Hence, moving to Chhaygaon, although only for 6 weeks, has been a reality check of sorts.

Chhaygaon (pronounced Soy-gaao) is a place about 50 km from Guwahati in Assam. I won’t call it a village, that would give the wrong impression. Chhaygaon is situated right on NH37 and is a fairly large marketplace. Very well-connected to other nearby towns and Guwahati. I suppose one could call it a small town. Only my imagination of “small town” was a bit different (reality check again!)

I am living with a local family here. Their house reminds me a lot of the large village houses they show in Hindi movies. The makeshift gate opens into a small open courtyard. This is where the family gathers round a bonfire on the cold evenings (more on that in a later post). Then there is the main structure, which is occupied by the family. On one side, separate from the house, are a few rooms in a single row. I live in one of these rooms. The NGO I have been assigned to for this stint has hired these rooms, and the room adjoining mine is occupied by Shojolika, a very helpful lady who works at the same NGO. Behind the main house and our rooms is the washing area (bathrooms, handpump, etc.).

Electricity is intermittent in Chhaygaon. Power goes out every couple of hours at an average, but usually returns in an hour or so. There is no “running water” in my house (we do have taps in the NGO office, though) – we have to draw water from the handpump every time we need it, be it for bathing, washing clothes or sanitation. I have been provided with gas and stove, so I cook my own food.

As I write this, it has been a week for me in Assam. I am fairly settled, and have started to like the clean, green, peaceful surroundings. But the first evening here had been extremely difficult.

Couple of people from the NGO had accompanied me to show the place where I would be staying. I was aghast when I first entered my room. It was rather bare (just a bed with a very thin mattress, a table, couple of chairs and the gas/stove), very dimly lit and gloomy. As they showed me the other areas, I felt increasingly uneasy. While leaving, the girl tried to encourage me by assuring me that I would settle in over time. I was immediately ashamed that my discomfort with the surroundings was so apparent.

Alone in my room that evening, I tried to come to terms with the change and be positive. But there were just so many questions/difficulties coming up in my mind one after the other! The next couple of days were spent figuring things out, overcoming each “challenge” step-by-step. I have shared a lot of laughs with the family I live with – they are amused at my clumsiness over certain tasks, and I join in with them, acutely aware of how I have always taken my “comforts” for granted. Comforts like electricity, running water/hot water, a washing machine/laundry, someone to clean every morning, a hot meal when I wish for it, comfortable beds.

Reflecting on the past week, I realise that the most encouraging factor is the people around me. They are warm, helpful and caring in every way. It also helps that my project partner, Raman (we are sent in pairs for this stint) is Assamese. He is from Guwahati and speaks the local language, which has helped tremendously.

There are many other small incidents and innumerous thoughts with me right now – will post it all bit-by-bit! Sharing a few pictures of my house for the time-being.

The road leading upto my house

That's the gate, and you get a glimpse of the colourful house within!

The open courtyard within (you can see the signs of a bonfire on the left) and the main house

Passage which leads to my room (white door on left is mine)

The washing area